ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
