New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
