I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
