you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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