Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
