and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Randomize
