I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
