I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
