My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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