very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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