Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
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