i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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