So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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