I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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