That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
