My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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