I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
