I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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