why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
it's like iHOP with fire
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
