oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
