I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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