Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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