He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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