she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
