security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
