Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
