dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
