i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
