the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
