dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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