so that wasnt chicken after all
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
