Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Actions speak louder than pants.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
So squirting runs in the family.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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