wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
