Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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