ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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