would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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