when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
