I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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