i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
