we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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