WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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