The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
