Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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