Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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