I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
