Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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