i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Randomize
