did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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