i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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