CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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