bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I made him laugh his dick is mine
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
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