Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
