Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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