Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Can you repeat that, but with context?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
