bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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